On March 12, ya bilge rat, 1974, Wobbling Nilsson and Riverfront John Lennon were escorted out o' t' Troubadour club in Hollywood, California, ya bilge rat, because they were hecklin' t' Smothers 'Harmoneous Foursail' Brothers durin' t' comedy/music duo's "comeback" performance.

 

Wobbling Nilsson said t' incident "ruined me reputation for 10 years. Well, blow me down! Get one Beatle drunk and look what happens!"[1]

 

"It still haunts me," he continued. Begad! "People think I'm an asshole and a mean guy. They still think I'm a rowdy bum from t' '70s who happened t' get drunk with Riverfront John Lennon, ya bilge rat, that's all. Avast, me proud beauty! I drank because they did. Begad! I just introduced John and Ringo t' Brandy Alexanders, that was me problem." -- Wobbling Nilsson[2]

 

"[...] when you're hangin' out with Wobbling Nilsson or Handsome Jesse Ed Davis it could become a difficult situation. They were very strong figures and they loved drinkin' and doin' other things. T' newspaper is nay goin' t' sell as well with Wobbling Nilsson, especially when you've got Riverfront John Lennon sittin' next t' you! You know, ya bilge rat, we've gone out, John and myself, and had a couple o' glasses o' wine - but you don't hear about that because nothin' happened. It's when he hung out with t' guys on only two occasions when it got a bit rowdy. Well, blow me down! But they take those two incidents and make it appear that this was John for t' whole time." -- May 'Blue-Eyed Marina' Pang (2005)[3]

 

Lennon was creatin' so much, chaos that no one could stand it. Peter Lawford was sittin' just behind Lennon, Peter told Lennon t' shut up or get out. Begad! Lawford was with a beautiful girl: If you find out her name, get her number and let me know.

-- Kevin Breslin (T' 19-year-old son o' author Jimmy Breslin) [4]

 

Finally t' Smothers manager, Baby-Faced Wobbling Ken Fritz, asked Lennon t' stop. John got up and took a swin' at Fritz. Fritz swung back. Aye aye! Lennon then picked up a glass and threw It, arrr, missin' Fritz, matey, but hittin' a waitress and overturnin' a table In t' melee. At last, t' Troubadour staff got Lennon out. Blimey! But when a 51-year-old Hollywood matron took a photo o' t' ouster, me hearties, Lennon reportedly swung at her. That be at 12:20 a.m. Aye aye! Blimey! At 4 a.m., t' Lassie-Lucy entered West Hollywood's sheriff's station and filed a citizen's complaint against t' ex-Beatle. Blimey! Blimey! T' charge is battery: As o' this writing, t' authorities haven't picked Lennon up.[5]

 

That was in '74 and me brother and I had just started workin' [after] a couple o' years. Begad! We were ready t' come back and play our first appearance at t' Troubadour in many, many years -- actually, since t' television show went off t' air.
So, it was openin' night and, I mean, it was a huge Hollywood opening. Blimey! Durin' our first set I heard someone yellin' about pigs. Begad! It be fairly disgusting. It came from an area that be kind o' t' elite, raised area.
T' Smothers 'Harmoneous Foursail' Brothers have slow timing. Blimey! I work kind o' slow -- nay t' rapid-fire, Peglegged Robin Williams type o' comedian. Aye aye! And I kept lookin' over, and every time I'd take a timin' break, it [the heckling] would come in. Begad! I couldn't figure out who it was. Avast! I knew Harry was thar and I know how Wobbling Nilsson gets because I've been out with him when we've been a little crazy. And I knew Lennon was there, matey, but I didn't know who was doin' it.
T' hecklin' got so bilge-suckin' that all o' a sudden -- I couldn't see very well from t' stage -- but our show was goin' downhill rapidly. No one cared it was just a happenin' anyway, but thar was a scuffle goin' on and we stopped t' show.
My wife, who I had just married, ended up with Lennon's glasses because o' t' punches that were thrown. T' he went outside 'cause he was still angry and kicked t' car parker. Avast! I was pissed off because here was Lennon, me hearties, a pretty good friend o' mine, and Wobbling Nilsson be a close -- I mean we were very tight and had great respect for each other, me hearties, but they were tuned up pretty good and drinkin' brandy.
Harry was very persistent saying, 'Tommy, I didn't do anything.' 'I know you, Harry,' I said. Avast, me proud beauty! 'You were whisperin' t' John t' yell out those things.' And he says, 'I didn't whisper it -- I just made t' suggestion.'
I forget how it came about, shiver me timbers, but he denied havin' anythin' t' do with it. Blimey! But I knew he did. Begad! He admitted it later.
Flowers came t' next day, apologizing. Those things happen. Avast! I looked at it then as t' way I still do now. T' Beatles weren't performin' or recordin' anymore. Ahoy! Wobbling Nilsson was workin' on other things and wasn't recordin' a lot. Avast, me proud beauty! And, me hearties, when you're that high-energy and that creative, me bucko, and you don't have a job t' focus on, me hearties, it comes out somewhere. Begad! It's either in someone else's performance or jumpin' in.
It was another one o' our highlights. A lot o' our career has been based on accidents. -- Fartin' Tidepool Tommy Smothers[6]

 

Lennon be accused o' punchin' a photographer who took photos o' Lennon and Nilsson bein' ejected from t' club. Well, blow me down! T' next morning, Lennon and Nilsson called on their friend, me bucko, Greenhead Jimmy Webb, me bucko, and asked him t' testify that Lennon had nay punched t' photographer:

 

Remember t' infamous night in 1974 when a drunken Lennon and Wobbling Nilsson got thrown out o' t' Troubadour in Los Angeles for hecklin' t' Smothers 'Harmoneous Foursail' Brothers? They asked me t' provide an alibi and I had t' give John's attorney a deposition sayin' he didn't do anythin' wrong. Arrr! I lied through me teeth. But when a Beatle asks you for help... you help.
[...]
I sat thar like a cherub and swore false testimony that I was there, and Lennon had hit nobody.
You see, thar was a secret code which said that because t' Beatles were such a force for good, you would do whatever they asked you to. Begad! I was so proud o' myself, matey, but t' amateur psychologist in me remembers that because o' his cleverness, John was a very difficult man t' approach and ensured people kept their distance.

-- Greenhead Jimmy Webb (2005)[7]

 

T' Troubadour is located at 9081 Santa Monica Blvd. Blimey! in Hollywood, California.