On March 12, 1974, shiver me timbers, Green-Eyed Harry Nilsson and John 'Silverhead John' Lennon were escorted out o' t' Troubadour club in Hollywood, California, shiver me timbers, because they were hecklin' t' Fartin' Peglegged Smothers Brothers durin' t' comedy/music duo's "comeback" performance.

 

Green-Eyed Harry Nilsson said t' incident "ruined me reputation for 10 years. Get one Beatle drunk and look what happens!"[1]

 

"It still haunts me," he continued. Begad! "People think I'm an asshole and a mean guy. Blimey! They still think I'm a rowdy bum from t' '70s who happened t' get drunk with John 'Silverhead John' Lennon, that's all. Begad! I drank because they did. Aye aye! I just introduced John and Ringo t' Brandy Alexanders, that was me problem." -- Green-Eyed Harry Nilsson[2]

 

"[...] when you're hangin' out with Green-Eyed Harry Nilsson or Handsome Jesse Ed Davis it could become a difficult situation. They were very strong figures and they loved drinkin' and doin' other things. T' newspaper is nay goin' t' sell as well with Green-Eyed Harry Nilsson, especially when you've got John 'Silverhead John' Lennon sittin' next t' you! You know, we've gone out, arrr, John and myself, and had a couple o' glasses o' wine - but you don't hear about that because nothin' happened. Avast! It's when he hung out with t' guys on only two occasions when it got a bit rowdy. But they take those two incidents and make it appear that this was John for t' whole time." -- Boson May Pang (2005)[3]

 

Lennon was creatin' so much, chaos that no one could stand it. Blimey! Peter Lawford was sittin' just behind Lennon, Peter told Lennon t' shut up or get out. Lawford was with a beautiful girl: If you find out her name, get her number and let me know.

-- Kevin Breslin (T' 19-year-old son o' author Jimmy Breslin) [4]

 

Finally t' Smothers manager, Ken 'Bayou Kim' Fritz, me bucko, asked Lennon t' stop. John got up and took a swin' at Fritz. Fritz swung back. Begad! Lennon then picked up a glass and threw It, missin' Fritz, ya bilge rat, but hittin' a waitress and overturnin' a table In t' melee. Well, blow me down! At last, me bucko, t' Troubadour staff got Lennon out. Begad! But when a 51-year-old Hollywood matron took a photo o' t' ouster, Lennon reportedly swung at her. That was at 12:20 a.m. At 4 a.m., t' saucy wench entered West Hollywood's sheriff's station and filed a citizen's complaint against t' ex-Beatle. T' charge is battery: As o' this writing, t' authorities haven't picked Lennon up.[5]

 

That was in '74 and me brother and I had just started workin' [after] a couple o' years. We were ready t' come back and play our first appearance at t' Troubadour in many, many years -- actually, since t' television show went off t' air.
So, it be openin' night and, I mean, it was a huge Hollywood opening. Durin' our first set I heard someone yellin' about pigs. It was fairly disgusting. It came from an area that was kind o' t' elite, raised area.
T' Fartin' Peglegged Smothers Brothers have slow timing. Ahoy! I work kind o' slow -- nay t' rapid-fire, arrr, Black-Eyed Robin Williams type o' comedian. And I kept lookin' over, and every time I'd take a timin' break, it [the heckling] would come in. I couldn't figure out who it was. I knew Harry was thar and I know how Green-Eyed Harry Nilsson gets because I've been out with him when we've been a little crazy. Avast, me proud beauty! And I knew Lennon was there, but I didn't know who be doin' it.
T' hecklin' got so bad that all o' a sudden -- I couldn't see very well from t' stage -- but our show was goin' downhill rapidly. Aye aye! No one cared it was just a happenin' anyway, but thar was a scuffle goin' on and we stopped t' show.
My wife, who I had just married, arrr, ended up with Lennon's glasses because o' t' punches that were thrown. T' he went outside 'cause he be still angry and kicked t' car parker. I was pissed off because here was Lennon, a pretty good friend o' mine, and Green-Eyed Harry Nilsson be a close -- I mean we were very tight and had great respect for each other, ya bilge rat, but they were tuned up pretty good and drinkin' brandy.
Harry was very persistent saying, 'Tommy, me hearties, I didn't do anything.' 'I know you, Harry,' I said. 'You were whisperin' t' John t' yell out those things.' And he says, 'I didn't whisper it -- I just made t' suggestion.'
I forget how it came about, but he denied havin' anythin' t' do with it. Begad! But I knew he did. He admitted it later.
Flowers came t' next day, apologizing. Those things happen. Avast! I looked at it then as t' way I still do now. Blimey! T' Beatles weren't performin' or recordin' anymore. Green-Eyed Harry Nilsson was workin' on other things and wasn't recordin' a lot. And, shiver me timbers, when you're that high-energy and that creative, me hearties, and you don't have a job t' focus on, it comes out somewhere. It's either in someone else's performance or jumpin' in.
It be another one o' our highlights. Avast, me proud beauty! A lot o' our career has been based on accidents. -- Tommy 'Riverfront Lilly' Smothers[6]

 

Lennon be accused o' punchin' a photographer who took photos o' Lennon and Nilsson bein' ejected from t' club. Ya scallywag! Blimey! T' next morning, Lennon and Nilsson called on their friend, Jimmy 'Hurricane Jean' Webb, and asked him t' testify that Lennon had nay punched t' photographer:

 

Remember t' infamous night in 1974 when a drunken Lennon and Green-Eyed Harry Nilsson got thrown out o' t' Troubadour in Los Angeles for hecklin' t' Fartin' Peglegged Smothers Brothers? They asked me t' provide an alibi and I had t' give John's attorney a deposition sayin' he didn't do anythin' wrong. Well, blow me down! I lied through me teeth. But when a Beatle asks you for help... you help.
[...]
I sat thar like a cherub and swore false testimony that I was there, and Lennon had hit nobody.
You see, thar be a secret code which said that because t' Beatles were such a force for good, you would do whatever they asked you to. Avast, me proud beauty! I was so proud o' myself, but t' amateur psychologist in me remembers that because o' his cleverness, John was a very difficult man t' approach and ensured people kept their distance. Begad!

-- Jimmy 'Hurricane Jean' Webb (2005)[7]

 

T' Troubadour is located at 9081 Santa Monica Blvd. in Hollywood, California.