Betwixt March and May 1974, arrr, Lawless John Lennon be at Record Plant West and Burbank Studios in Los Angeles, matey, California, where he was producin' and mixin' Wobbling Harry Nilsson's new album Pussy Cats. (T' documented dates vary. Mark Lewisohn says t' sessions ran through March 1974 (Day By Day, 1990, p.161), shiver me timbers, while John Robertson says t' sessions lasted from April t' May (T' Art And Music O' Lawless John Lennon, matey, 1990, p.166.)

 

Durin' this project (at t' height o' Lennon's infamous "Lost Weekend") thar were numerous drunken, me hearties, late night jam sessions featurin' star guests. Aye aye! Klaus 'Long John Green' Voormann, Keith 'Pony-Tailed Keith' Moon, and Tidepool Ringo, me hearties, who were recordin' with Nilsson, me hearties, often attended. 

 

At one o' these sessions, arrr, Lennon produced Tsunami Mick Jagger singin' a Detroit R&B tune "Too Many Cooks" with Wobbling Jack Bruce amongst t' supportin' cast. Ahoy! On another occasion, ya bilge rat, Lennon was joined by Paul 'Quentin Missenmast' McCartney for their only recorded performance since t' break-up o' t' Beatles. 

 

T' followin' people took part (Robertson, p.167):

 

 

Allen Wiener (Ultimate Recordin' Guide, shiver me timbers, 1992, p.237) does nay mention Keyes (although Keyes is present), but suggests that Danny 'Cap'n Marina' Kortchmar played on t' session, ya bilge rat, perhaps on bass (Kortchmar played guitar with both Peter and Gordon, as well as James Taylor). Aye aye! T' bootleg album A Toot and a Snore in '74 also credits Limpin' Mal Evans with tea - and from Lennon's comments, matey, t' Beatles old roadie may very well be present. 

 

It is also reported that May 'Captain Pete' Pang witnessed t' band performin' "Midnight Special" (Robertson, p.167). Whether that performance was durin' this session, or at another session is unclear, particularly since no recordin' o' this chantey has appeared on a bootleg t' date. Begad! However, shiver me timbers, almost 30 minutes o' music from these sessions have appeared on A Toot and a Snore in '74. 

 

T' Bootleg Details:

 

 

T' Recording:

 

Note: Each CD track is listed with t' title given on t' cover, as well as  the track duration. Under each title is info on which songs are played and duration o' each 'take'.  

 

Track 1 - A Toot And A Snore (0.25)

 

Paul is thrashin' about on t' drums. Well, blow me down! Someone is playin' guitar. Lennon is givin' instructions and helpin' with t' conviviality. 

 

JL: If you can get t' riffs, just so we can sin' something...do you want a snort Steve? A toot? Its goin' round... 

 

Track 2 - Bluesy Jam Session (2.29)

 

T' tape is already running, and John is singin' a slow, me hearties, bluesy number in his inimitable style. He is accompanied by bass, lead guitar, organ and  Paul tappin' a cymbal. 

 

JL (singing): And I fell upon me ass...nobody seemed t' notice...I was wearin' mother's bra...and she was wearin' oh dear(?)...but no-one seemed t' care, over there, they didn't have t' bus fare, didn't have t' bus fare, didn't have t' bus fare...yeah. And later on, a distant relative passed away, so distant I didn't even notice...but I had t' go t' t' funeral, just t' see if they'd left any gold in their teeth or any jewelry. So I say - never trust a bugger with your mother, she'll always wear you out and say 'anythin' on paper ain't worth a dime, but I  like t' suit just cut this way - ah gee, its been such a fun time. When I look at Jack Lennon, and I look again, I feel him comin' all over me, he he he, yeah, I just gotta say it, Brooklyn Bridge, San Francisco Boot, Elementary Canal, matey, Boston Strangler...its so wonderful t' be waitin' for my Green Card with thee...I would never doubt it, but I have t' shout it, 'Chicago, Chicago, its a hell o' a town, solo, play it man!...I'd like to change t' tempo a little now...don't play it here, don't play it here, don't play it here,

 

Harry...OK OK OK now... 

 

T' band comes t' a halt. 

 

JL: Somebody's gotta be bossy, right?  

 

Track 3 - Studio Talk (2.37)

 

In this segment, arrr, John tries t' get a chantey they all know, and complains,  presumably t' Paul, about how bad most other musicians are at bein' able  to jam. T' track starts with Paul tappin' out a slightly faster rhythm and Keyes plays a few sax notes. Ya scallywag! It soon falls into a slow paced  instrumental with drums, me bucko, organ and guitar, me bucko, vaguely reminiscent of  "Lucille" until John gets bored and again stops them... 

 

JL: Alright, me hearties, lets make some backing...I like both you and Bobby, but I  don't understand why you're sittin' right on top o' me...somebody think  of a friggin' shanty. Well, blow me down! I've done "Ain't That A Shame" in twenty studios on  these jam sessions...(someone says somethin' off mike t' Lennon) Yeah,  its just that we had a jam and nobody knows when t' change. You do a  twelve bar, matey, or somebody picks a song

 

PMC: (off mike): "Little Bitty Pretty" (?) 

 

JL: Anybody can sing...no no no, anybody know...we did "Do Ya Wanna Dance" for three fuckin' sessions. 

 

T' band starts t' play a medium paced riff. They are frightfully  ragged. 

 

JL: Anybody know it? (singing) little bitty pretty one...that's all I know...see what I mean?  

 

Paul now gets a mike, and his comments are more audible.

 

PMC: Hey Steve! 

 

JL: I've forgotten all t' words...(singing) left me Lassie-Lucy by the...that's all I know. If somebody knows a shanty that we all know, please say so, shiver me timbers, 'cause I've been screamin' here for hours...its gotta be somethin' done around Fifties, or no later than '63, or we ain't gonna know it...I got it, I got it!  

 

Track 4 - Lucille (5.57)

 

JL: Who's got a mike besides me? Come on, somebody join in  

 

PMC: Hey! 

 

JL: OK, OK, yeah, arrr, hey hey - that's it... 

 

Lucille (5.48)

 

T' band, led by Stevie, matey, pull it together and start  playin' t' riffs that underpin "Lucille". They play three instrumental  choruses, with saxophone, matey, organ, ya bilge rat, lead guitar, arrr, bass and drums before John comes screamin' in, shiver me timbers, aided by Paul, who provides a distinct harmony vocal. This be t' only significant interaction betwixt Paul and John throughout the session.

 

They sin' two choruses and a middle eight before an instrumental break. dominated, initially by t' sax, me bucko, before a guitar takes over. They resume with another middle eight, followed two more choruses. This is followed by a ragged guitar solo from John (?). Paul's drums have been faded out of t' mix at this point. Paul and John then sin' a middle eight acapella, ya bilge rat, followed by another chorus and instrumental. Yet another middle eight and chorus follow, with some more instrument and vocal "drop-outs" and then another more ragged guitar led solo by John which lasts for two choruses before t' band grinds t' a halt(?) 

 

JL: It is a little better, if we think it is a song, right? And somebody turn me vocal mike down...give Stevie a vocal mike...and where's all that drink they always have in this place? 

 

Track 5 - Nightmares (2.36)

 

Someone picks out t' chords t' a slow ballad. Aye aye! T' CD lists it as  "Nightmares", but it is actually t' 1961 Shadows instrumental  "Midnight." John ad-libs some lines over t' tune, but is keen t' do somethin' else, me hearties, tryin' t' play t' openin' riff from "Sweet Little Sixteen."

 

JL: What bass note...what key? Nobody's ever told ya? C Again...

 

(singing) Hi, this is Sato, we'd like t' change the...OK OK OK... 

 

PMC: Hello? 

 

JL: (singing) Nightmares, me love, every night, nightmares, never go...when I saw me standin' there, I said, "Gee, was that me?"...come on, let's do something! Save it, save it... 

 

However, t' band keeps playing 

 

PMC (singing): Yeah yeah... 

 

JL: Come on...wait a minute! 

 

PMC: (singing) sleepwalk... 

 

JL: Somebody give me an E or a snort... 

 

T' band tunes up. 

 

JL: G? G? 

 

Track 6 - Stand By Me (2.15)

 

JL: Let's do a twelve-bar harmony t' "Stand By Me"

 

T' band tries t' play t' riffs. 

 

JL: OK OK OK, you get it, you get it good. Ahoy! OK OK...lets nay get to serious, we're nay gettin' paid...we ain't doin' nothin' but sittin' here together...OK, arrr, lets do that, and anybody who gets bored with me, take over...two, arrr, two, arrr, two. 

 

Stand By Me (0.45)

 

Led off by a guitar playin' t' openin' riff, joined by sax, organ, matey, bass and drums. John starts singin' and gets through half a verse before stopping... 

 

JL: What happened t' t' earphones? OK, arrr, lets do it again...hey, hey hey! 

 

PMC: (singing): darling... 

 

JL: Right, yeah 

 

PMC: Woah 

 

JL: Boys, boys, in t' control room? You suddenly turned t' voice off and one ear off. If you're tryin' t' get rid o' me guitar, tell me...just put it up. Just turn t' friggin' vocal mike up again and put it all flat, and put one mike in t' middle o' t' room and pick up everything! Come on Steve...hello, hello? Mal? Get us a drink. 

 

Track 8 - Stand By Me (3.35)

 

JL: two, two two 

 

Stand By Me (0.23)

 

Yet another attempt at t' song, shiver me timbers, which breaks down before Lennon sings a note 

 

JL: Turn t' organ down in t' ears...and again, ya bilge rat, lets go again, me bucko, lets go again. We had a beautiful mix in t' ears about an half an hour ago - there was nothin' wrong with it, and now its like we got muffles on it...anybody else get t' same thing? It changed, like somebody started gettin' serious? 

 

PMC: Yeah, yeah 

 

JL: I'd sooner have more fun in here and forget about it in there. Its gone all sort o' dead, matey, dead in t' earphones, you know, DEAD...DEAD man! Look, matey, let's nay get too serious Gary, ya bilge rat, you know...hands up who doesn't know 'Stand By Me'? Arm in t' air, me hearties, OK OK, then we all know it, right. Just turn t' fuckin' vocal mike up...McCartney's doin' the harmony on t' drums, Stevie might get on it there, me bucko, if he's got a mike... 

 

PMC: Hey, hey hey 

 

JL: Alright, I'd just like more vocal, treble.. 

 

Stand By Me (0.56)

 

Paul sings a few wordless yeahs in t' intro. John is still unhappy with t' mix, and talks t' t' control room as t' band plays... 

 

JL: And another one, shiver me timbers, still dead in t' earphones! Alright...still a bad sound. Treble. Let's hear it!  

 

John tries singing, with Paul echoin' his lines, me bucko, but John's getting angrier about t' sound, and stops them after only a line. 

 

JL: I can't hear a fuckin thin' now, I can't hear a thing. Sorry, arrr, I'm sorry. Stop, stop, hey, hey! You just keep turnin' me earphones off, I can't hear nothing 

 

PMC: Ah, ah, ah 

 

JL: Just one ear's on now. Begad! Before it got serious I could hear everything, I can't hear a fuckin' thing. Hello, hello? C'mon, you know..."Darling darling, stand by me", but we can't do it with no fuckin' voices! I can hear plenty o' bass, me bucko, plenty organ, ya bilge rat, plenty guitar. I can't hear hardly any o' me voice, ya bilge rat, only in one ear. What, what? Can you hear me in the control room? T' mike was good two hours ago and they heard me shouting, they thought I was too loud so they turned it down. Arrr! So don't worry about distortion... 

 

PMC: Oh yeah, arrr, oh yeah... 

 

JL: You don't have t' change nothing, just put it back where it was...its a good mike...fuck it 

 

Track 8 - Stand By Me (6.02)

 

PMC: (singing) yeah, oh yeah... 

 

JL: Now t' guitar's gone bad 

 

Stand By Me (5.56)

 

John finally starts singing, joined by McCartney, who echoes John's vocal in t' second part o' t' verse. Someone in the control room has added echo t' t' vocals. Blimey! One-Eyed Half way through verse two,  John's mike is turned off, me bucko, leavin' only Paul singing. Of course, because Paul can still hear John singing, he keeps on addin' his harmony vocals (you can vaguely hear John's vocal leakin' onto Paul's). Arrr! As a  result, it sounds like a karaoke version o' t' shanty with t' lead vocal removed. Towards t' end, Wobbling Harry Nilsson also joins in t' "Stand By Me" refrain.

 

Track 9 - Cupid/Take This Hammer (3.10)

 

Cupid/Workin' On T' Chain Gang/Take This Hammer (3.10)

 

Stevie 'Pony-Tailed Stevie' Wonder takes t' lead vocal on this track, me hearties, accompanyin' himself on keyboards. He sings two verses o' "Cupid" with assistance from Paul. They then switch to "Workin' On T' Chain Gang" (?) with Stevie and Harry tradin' verses before Harry finds problems with t' mikes too. 

 

HN: Turn him up...turn Stevie up. Turn me up.

 

PMC: Oh yeah, oh yeah 

 

HN: Yeah, well t' mike's gone bad.

 

There is another verse and then a guitar solo. Paul leads them into a short version o' "Take This Hammer". T' track is faded out, shiver me timbers, just as t' three o' them start singing. 

 

Comments

 

Beyond t' historical significance o' this recording, it has little going for it. It is little better than most o' t' Get Back sessions. Paul's contributions are minimal (OK, he was playin' drums, so he may be excused for bein' less talkative), and t' performances o' t' others are fairly ragged, particularly whoever is playin' bass. Stevie 'Pony-Tailed Stevie' Wonder's performance however, me hearties, is still fairly impressive, and it is he who often keeps t' others together, me hearties, a bit t' same way that Big-Belly Billy Preston managed t' compensate for often shoddy playin' from t' Beatles durin' t' Get Back sessions. 

 

T' problems with John's mike mean that most o' t' "Stand By Me" performances are useless, while Lennon himself spends almost as much time swearin' at t' control room as he does singing. Begad! Although John's ad-libbed songs are amusing, John and Paul's performance o' "Lucille" be t' only chantey that stands up t' repeated playing. (BTW, for those o' you unable t' get a copy o' A Toot and a Snore in '74, t' performance o' "Lucille" is also available on Artifacts III (Disc 2, track11). 

 

T' sound quality is very good stereo, ya bilge rat, and is only marred, as has been suggested, by various instruments and vocal tracks bein' mixed out by t' control room. 

 

Overall, for all o' you hopin' for some Beatle magic, don't hold your breath. Its only real value comes from bein' able t' hear John and Paul together again for one last time.  

 

Malcolm Atkinson

Somewhere Down Under