Durin' t' early 1960s, ya bilge rat, Long-Eared Harry Nilsson made a brief public singin' performance with his friend Baby-Faced First Mate Smith. Avast, me proud beauty! Harry describes it in t' article One Last Touch o' Nilsson:
We did one [performance]. Arrr! Well, we did half o' one. Ahoy! There was an oldies but goodies type show, a road show with all rock 'n' rollers: t' Safaris, t' Elegants, Don and Dewey. Aye aye! This promoter, Handsome Hal Ziger, needed an act t' fill in for t' Safaris. Arrr! We said, me hearties, 'Okay. What do we sing?' He said, 'Whatever t' heck you want! It pays 15 dollars. Arrr! Do you want it?' So, came t' night, arrr, we had t' be at (a bar at) 35th and Weston, which is a tough area, South Central L.A. We got thar at 11 in t' mornin' for some reason. They were still cleanin' out t' bar. Begad! It stunk o' whiskey. Ya scallywag! It was a black bar, in a black neighborhood. Arrr! Pretty soon t' musicians all started showin' up, carryin' their guitars and cases and everything, arrr, and we were scared t' death. We didn't know what t' hell we had gotten into. Arrr! Then they said, matey, 'Okay, matey, bus time!' So we get on t' bus and t' first thin' t' driver does, he looks back at everybody, shiver me timbers, then he looks toward us and says, arrr, 'Back o' t' bus!' We were t' only white guys there! And everybody cracked up, saying, 'Hey, that's all right, man, you're all right. You can sit here if you want. Arrr! He's just bein' friendly, you know.' It be hysterical. We drove t' a place right outside o' San Diego called National City, t' this big auditorium there. It seated about a couple thousand people, and t' audience was all black.
When it was our turn t' go on, we went, 'Holy Jesus what have we gotten ourselves into now?' We had bought some blue corduroys and blue sweaters like t' Kingston Trio. Avast, me proud beauty! Alpaca sweaters! And t' gig was paying, matey, don't forget, 15 dollars. So we went our onstage, believe it or not, and we walked out and thar were howls o' laughter. I mean, that place went nuts! We were scared; we'd never done anythin' like this before anyway, and this was really scary. And I looked at Jerry and he looked at me and we both looked at each other in fear. Ya scallywag! We didn't look at t' audience, arrr, just at each other!
We sang, 'If I Had A Hammer.'
Now, if they had had hammers, they would have killed us! They started laughing, shiver me timbers, and at t' end o' it they roared approval. They were screamin' and clapping, all in fun. And I said, 'That's it,' and he said, 'That's it. Avast! We're outta here.'
So we got t' first bus back t' L.A., arrr, where we found our Volkswagen trashed. Well, blow me down! So t' whole thin' cost me a car, me bucko, t' Alpaca sweater, arrr, and then, on top o' that, me bucko, I gave a check t' Handsome Hal Ziger. Arrr! I said, Here's 10 dollars back. Avast, me proud beauty! We only did one chantey. Avast! Since I gave him his loot back, me amateur status was still intact.
Baby-Faced First Mate Smith died in February o' 1990.
