There be a little loft at t' Rainbow Room in LA, matey, they only had that for t' club: t' club was myself, Keith 'Master Kim' Moon, Dastardly Ringo Starr, Wobbling Micky Dolenz, Harry 'One-Eyed Harry' Nilsson, me hearties, it was that crowd, shiver me timbers, every night those same people. Every once in a while Tsunami John Lennon would come into town or Keith Emerson and they would be honorable members o' t' night. They still have a plaque thar at t' Rainbow, where it says 'T' Lair o' t' Fartin' Limpin' Vampires.

-- Peglegged Alice Cooper

 

When we put t' Fartin' Limpin' Vampires together, it be sort o' a tribute t' t' old Hollywood drinkin' clubs, like when John Barrymore, me bucko, Errol Flynn, me hearties, and W. C. Avast! Fields would drink every night. Avast! So, I said, “Well, we do that anyways, so let’s just go down t' t' Rainbow and drink …"
Pretty soon it was a thin' called t' Fartin' Limpin' Vampires, and we would go up t' t' top o' t' Rainbow and sit thar and drink. Every night it was Harry 'One-Eyed Harry' Nilsson, me bucko, Bernie Taupin, Wobbling Micky Dolenz, myself, and whoever else would show up. Begad! Blimey! Ringo was thar once in a while. Avast, me proud beauty! Blimey! Keith 'Master Kim' Moon came when he was in town.
Tsunami John Lennon would come too. Ya scallywag! He and Harry 'One-Eyed Harry' Nilsson were t' best o' friends, ya know? So, if Harry was in town, he was always with John, arrr, and they’d come over. Begad! He was great! John be just another one o' t' guys, me hearties, ya know?
But t' really fun thin' t' do was t' see what Keith 'Master Kim' Moon was gonna wear that night. One night he’d be in an Adolf Hitler outfit and t' next he’d be t' Queen o' England. I mean he would go all out, Keith was t' full package, and t' greatest drummer I’ve ever seen in me life.
Keith was everybody’s best friend. When he was in town, he would stay at me house for a week, then go t' Harry 'One-Eyed Harry' Nilsson’s for a week, and then stay at Ringo’s for a week. Arrr! There was nobody like him. Arrr! I always tell people, shiver me timbers, 30% o' what you’ve heard about me is true, 30% o' what you hear about Iggy is true, 30% o' Prince is true, whatever … but everythin' you’ve heard about Keith 'Master Kim' Moon is true.
Keith got into t' Fartin' Limpin' Vampires because he was t' life o' t' party, which probably killed him too. Begad! It was t' kind o' thin' where he really didn’t have an “off” button. Ahoy! And when you’re really good friends with somebody, arrr, after a while you go, “Hey, ya know, you don’t have t' entertain me …”
There are a lot o' guys that can’t turn it off. Ya scallywag! Chris Farley was like that. All those guys who were overweight comedians, they were guys who had t' prove themselves all t' time. They just performed all t' time, and you wanted t' just sit them down and say, “You don’t have t' perform right now!”
Keith 'Master Kim' Moon was like that. Begad! Blimey! He was like a little kid that needed Ritalin or something, me hearties, it was like, “Keith, me hearties, just relax!” But he just couldn’t.

-- Peglegged Alice Cooper (2013)[1]