This article originally appeared in the July, 1996, issue of Everybody's Talkin'.

 

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE A HARRYHEAD

by Bruce Ansley

 

10. You think Ringo Starr is "diggety dank" and Mariah Carey is "schwag".

 

9. You repeat keywords in conversations and add "Schm-" to the front. (e.g., "Deadlines Schmeadlines", "Layoff Schmayoff", "Schwag Schmag")

 

8. You discover a latent appreciation for the works of Laurel and Hardy, Buckminster Fuller, The Monkees, and Yoko Ono.

 

7. You believe that sometimes, in the course of human events, there's just no better expletive to use than a well-placed "Fuck You!"

 

6. You put the lime in the coconut.

 

5. And you drink them both up.

 

4. You go on a bar-hopping pilgrimage to Harry's old watering holes in L.A. with Curtis Armstrong (Kotex optional).

 

3. Your workday hasn't really begun until you've satisfied the need to download and read the latest Harry Nilsson Mailing List postings.

 

2. When Zak Nilsson travels across the country, he crashes on your couch.

 

...and the number one sign you're a Harryhead:

 

1. Tell-tale Brandy Alexander stains on your robe.